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arthritis rears its ugly head again

February 21, 2008

I don’t know what I can do about it.  It’s hard to live like this though.  You never know when it will hit.  Guess you have to keep crutches close by.  It’s never come on so fast like this before.  Usually it is more gradual over several days.  This time, I had no warning.  Yesterday, when I left home I could walk.  By the middle of class, I couldn’t.  The foot just blew up like a balloon and fast.  I had to have help to get to my car.  Embarrassing.  The pain.  The swelling.  The heat.  It’s agonizing when it is like this.  My foot is purple.  My toes look like sausages.  Can’t walk.  It hurts when its up or when its down.  Don’t touch it please.  Even the air around it puts too much pressure on it.  I itch all over.  I couldn’t sleep last night.  No comfortable position.  The covers hurt me too.  Finally took a Vicodin.  It still took 3 hours to sleep.  Then it was fitfull at best.  I’m zonked today because of the aftereffects of the medicine and from having no sleep.  I hurt.  The NSAIDS don’t touch that pain.  I hate being like this.  I can’t control it.  That’s it!  It is the feeling of being out of control of my own life that is worst.  When life is at its busiest here it is again and I can’t do anything about it.  I tell myself that these times come so that I can feel really good about the good times.  Sigh.  Looking for good times. :>(

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